


Shadows

by orphan_account



Series: Where Words Fail Music Speaks Series [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And i only mention her hair color for her features, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Remembers, F/M, Happy Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, It only mentions her name once, Romance, Sort of Bucky x reader, Tragedy, angst if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 06:05:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9222245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Based off of the song Shadows by Sabrina Carpenter.Couldn't help but think of Bucky while listening to it.Could be considered Bucky x Reader.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any typos.

_We all got nightmares,_

_And no dreams._

_We look for someone, to believe in us,_

_And show us the way,_

_And make it okay._

_The world can be dangerous._

* * *

 

Amanda Larsen was the newest addition to the Avengers and the most mysterious and secretive. She rarely talked, and when she did, she was always quiet and usually only spoke to Natasha or Clint, the ones who found her in an abandoned Hydra base.

The others only knew a few small details of her past. 

Captured by Hydra.

Experimented on by Hydra.

Brainwashed by Hydra.

She was one of their assassins, forced to kill hundreds (though it felt like thousands to her) of people. Innocent people.

They were often awoken in the middle of the night by her screams of terror. 

She could never get away from the blood shed, the guilt, the pain. Not even in her sleep.

Any time any of them tried to comfort her, even Natasha and Clint, she turned away, and became even colder towards everyone, so they decided to let her be.

No one could imagine what she went through.

* * *

 

_There's something so rare in your veins,_

_Not a single thing I would change._

_And oh, if you only knew,_

_How I see you._

_Would you come alive again?_

_Live again?_

* * *

 

Three years after she was brought to Avengers Tower, she was finally comfortable.

She talked more, she actually smiled and laughed.

She was as close to being happy as she could get, and that was all she wanted.

When Steve introduced his friend Bucky to the team, she couldn't help but notice how much he acted like her, when she first arrived.

It didn't take long for her to develope feelings for him.

Of course everyone noticed almost right away.

Whenever he entered the room, her eyes got brighter.

If he talked to her, she listened to every word as if it were the most important thing in the world.

If she got him to smile, she would act like she just won the Olympics.

Yeah, everyone noticed, but the man himself.

It wasn't that he didn't fell the same. No, he defiantly felt the same. It was that he felt as if he wasn't good enough. She was too good, too pure. At least to him she was. He knew about her past, and he didn't care. If anything, it made him care for her more.

But, his self hatred made him blind to her feelings.

And she was too afraid.

Too afraid of the rejection she's faced all her life.

* * *

_I I need you to understand._

_I don't mind your shadows._

_Cause they, disappear in the light._

_I don't mind your shadows._

_Cause they, look a lot like mine._

_And listen to me, its okay, to be afriad_ _._

_Just walk like you're never alone._

_I don't mind your shadows._

_Your shadows, baby I don't._

* * *

 

Her nightmares still came. They never stopped. Every night she was back in the chair, back with Hydra, she just learned to not wake up screaming. 

She never could fall back asleep after a nightmare, and she never wanted to. She was too afraid that they would come back.

She jerked awake in a cold sweat.

This nightmare was different from the rest.

She was still back in the cold dark clutches of Hydra, but this time, instead of being forced to kill a faceless innocent, it Bucky.

That was when she knew.

She knew that she was in love with him.

Little did she know, he was in the same predicament.

* * *

 

_Pictures, in our head,_

_Of what was supposes to be,_

_Measuring ourselves,_

_But where is the love?_

_"Where is the love?"_

_The world got us wondering, wondering._

* * *

After her late night realization, she avoided Bucky like the plague.

She was getting too close and any time she got close to someone, they were ripped from her hands.

She became colder and more reserved. She barely talked ton anyone. She was going back to the way she was.

All while Bucky was wondering what he did wrong.

She hardley spoke to him. If he walked into a room and she was there, she quickly left. She could barely look at him.

This continued for a month until he got her where she couldn't escape.

* * *

 

_I I need you to understand._

_That I don't mind your shadows,_

_Cause they, disappear in the light._

_And_ _I don't mind your shadows._

_Cause they, look a lot like mine._

_And listen to me, its okay, to be afriad_ _._

_Just walk like you're never alone._

_And I don't mind your shadows._

_Your shadows, baby I don't._

* * *

She kept having the same nightmare. 

Killing Bucky.

It's been the same one for a month. Each one worse than the last.

She's now seeked the roof for comfort. Sitting there until the sun started to rise.

She was always alone up there. No oone knew that she did it.

Except for one person.

Bucky had noticed her going out there the night before, and decided that this was the night to confront her.

* * *

_And all these voices in our head,_

_Well they keep screaming louder and louder._

_But they won't pull us under._

* * *

She was looking up at the sky when she heard the door open and foot steps approaching her.

She have to look to know who it was.

He sat down next to her and they were both silent for a beat.

"Why've you been avoiding me?" He asked softly. He didn't give her a chance to answer before he continued. "Have I done something wrong? Did I say something? Do something?" 

She could almost laugh. Of course he would think that _he_ did something wrong. He was too too good. 

 _Too good for me._ She thought sadly.

"No James." He smiled at that. She never did call him Bucky. It was always James. "You didn't do something. I did." She spoke so quietly he probably wouldn't have heard her if he didn't have enhanced hearing.

His eyebrows drew together in confusion.

She took a deep breath, preparing herself for her confession, his rejection and the end of their friendship. Or rather, what was left of it.

"Wha-" He started, but she cut him off.

"I fell in love with you." His eyes widened. "And I know you don't feel the same, becuae no one could love me, I understand and I'm sorry for ruining our friendship."

She got up and started walking to words the door, tears streaming down her face.

* * *

 

_And baby, I don't mind your shadows,_

_Cause they, disappear in the light._

_And_ _I don't mind your shadows._

_Cause they, look a lot like mine._

_And listen to me, its okay, to be afriad_ _._

_Just walk like you're never alone._

_And I don't mind your shadows._

_Your shadows, baby I don't._

* * *

Before she could reach the door, he grabbed her wrist and spun her around.

She opened her mouth to say something, but was silenced by his lips crashing down on her own.

To say she was shocked would've been the understatement of the century.

It took a few moments for her to realize what was happening, but once she did, she returned the kiss eagerly.

She's not sure how long they stand there, lips locked, his left srm around her waist the other inertwined in her honey blonde hair and her arms around his neck, once hand playing with the hair at the nape of hus neck, but eventually, they have to break apart for air.

"I love you too." He murmurs. 

After that night, the nightmares don't come anymore. 

All because of a certain super soldier right beside her. 

Protecting her.

Needing her.

Loving her.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it sucks.


End file.
